Freaking out

I adore actor Takeru Satoh and the movie Rurouni Kenshin.

Lyrics:
“Don’t worry it’s safe right here in my arms.
As the world falls apart around us.
all we can do is hold on.”

How is my first week of #ADD1Challenge going? I am totally in over my head. I am freaking out. My stress level is off the charts.

The good, the bad, and the ugly. I promised to share it all. How did committing to 30 minutes of study 5 days a week turn into “have 3 conversations a week all in Korean from week 1”? I am not ready. I thought I had 3 months to work my way up to it.  Even then, I was having difficulty visualizing a 15 minute conversation.

So when I was thrown into a study group today with one other person who has 3 years of Korean learning, I sort of fell apart.  I had a plan.  I had 10 months of Korean studying.  I had practiced my introduction.

Remember, I was the person who did 100 takes to make a 2 minute video in English to apply for the Add1Challenge.  Even in my native language, not so good.  Haha.   I uploaded one of the outtakes for your amusements.  “ahhhhhhh….”  Choke. 하하

Remember my attempt to make a video back in October when I could remember nothing?

Julia speaking, not so good.  ㅋㅋ So if I can’t make 2 minutes with a script and lots of practice, how well do you think 30 minutes unscripted with me having to try to understand the other person speaking Korean went.  Yep.  Crash and burn.  * KA BOOM *

Haha

I laugh at myself every day.

So I want to curl up into a little ball, but no Takeru Satoh’s strong arms and sharp sword to keep me safe.  So I will have to struggle on.  Any suggestions on how I am going to survive 85 more days of this are greatly welcome.  This goal of speaking is WAY beyond what I know how to do.

I had predicted with my tutor that I would crash and burn at 6 weeks from the stress. Umm … I made it 5 days.  Just saying.  Haha.

I suspect what I should be doing is asking all those kind-hearted Koreans who have been chatting with me to help me step up my game and actually speak.  Want to schedule a 15 minute speaking session with me?  Let me know.  I have 36 more speaking practices to fit in between now and D-day at day 90.

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