Freaking out

I adore actor Takeru Satoh and the movie Rurouni Kenshin.

“Don’t worry it’s safe right here in my arms.
As the world falls apart around us.
all we can do is hold on.”

How is my first week of #ADD1Challenge going? I am totally in over my head. I am freaking out. My stress level is off the charts.

The good, the bad, and the ugly. I promised to share it all. How did committing to 30 minutes of study 5 days a week turn into “have 3 conversations a week all in Korean from week 1”? I am not ready. I thought I had 3 months to work my way up to it.  Even then, I was having difficulty visualizing a 15 minute conversation.

So when I was thrown into a study group today with one other person who has 3 years of Korean learning, I sort of fell apart.  I had a plan.  I had 10 months of Korean studying.  I had practiced my introduction.

Remember, I was the person who did 100 takes to make a 2 minute video in English to apply for the Add1Challenge.  Even in my native language, not so good.  Haha.   I uploaded one of the outtakes for your amusements.  “ahhhhhhh….”  Choke. 하하

Remember my attempt to make a video back in October when I could remember nothing?

Julia speaking, not so good.  ㅋㅋ So if I can’t make 2 minutes with a script and lots of practice, how well do you think 30 minutes unscripted with me having to try to understand the other person speaking Korean went.  Yep.  Crash and burn.  * KA BOOM *


I laugh at myself every day.

So I want to curl up into a little ball, but no Takeru Satoh’s strong arms and sharp sword to keep me safe.  So I will have to struggle on.  Any suggestions on how I am going to survive 85 more days of this are greatly welcome.  This goal of speaking is WAY beyond what I know how to do.

I had predicted with my tutor that I would crash and burn at 6 weeks from the stress. Umm … I made it 5 days.  Just saying.  Haha.

I suspect what I should be doing is asking all those kind-hearted Koreans who have been chatting with me to help me step up my game and actually speak.  Want to schedule a 15 minute speaking session with me?  Let me know.  I have 36 more speaking practices to fit in between now and D-day at day 90.

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